dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
