can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
