Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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