either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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