you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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