sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
