Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
