Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
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come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
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Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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