apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
