I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...