He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.