and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
