you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
