Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
