is your mom at the bar?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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