Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
