I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
