Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize