i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
