yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
