I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
