What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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