What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
