I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
is it fun? or sober?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize