That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
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I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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