Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?