proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
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I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
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If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3