i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it