white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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