erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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