Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
