this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
