i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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