no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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