tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
