His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
