My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
