I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize