you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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