he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
