I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
