just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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