This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You smell like stripper and shame
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
