I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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