There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize