Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
