I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
