I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
