Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
