That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize