its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
