The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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