And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
