i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize