I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
