she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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