STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
