Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
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I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
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well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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