She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
