what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
